this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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