Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
