Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
