idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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