Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
