she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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