Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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