hell yes lets make some ravioli
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
