you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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