Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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