what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We have so much sex to catch up on
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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