she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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