I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
