What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
