remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize