You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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