I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize