I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
