i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
