the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Quick, to the slutcave!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
did i walk over a car last night?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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