You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
