Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize
