glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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