i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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