i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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