Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i've created a new STD.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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