honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
