Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you remember whose house we're in?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
