If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
