just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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