she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize