i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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