Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....