knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize