Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So many bounce houses so little time
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh