I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!