I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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