I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...