mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
