Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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