HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
