I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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