I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize