Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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