What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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