Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize