You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
