Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
