I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize