Your dad touched me again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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