I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
