Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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