He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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