Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
