dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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