i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize