We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
