He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
