Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize