Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
