do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
