mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
