nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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