I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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