I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
