remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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