My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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