nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
