Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
