yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
