I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
