So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
