When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
