U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do vagina's smell?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The Olympian is in my bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
