If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
