Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
