youre lurking in front of me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
honey bunches of taint.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
