Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
