I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The power of my boobs compel you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize